Not. Cool.

There is a thing in my house.

It is probably like, ten times SMALLER than me.

It's injured. Or sick. Or something. I mean, this thing would not make it through natural selection.

It poops in a BOX. I know, I smelled the box. I wasn't allowed to climb into it though, so I don't know why that THING was.

I am FOR REALS terrified of this thing though.

I know I'm getting to be a big boy (I turned nine months old yesterday!) but you guys don't even know. She has only been here two days and she is already smacking me around and making creepy noises with her mouth.

Do you want to know the worst part?

Mom and Dad say she's my SISTER.

Shit. Just. Got. Real.

My dog doesn't have spatial awareness

It's something I've known for a while but it was particularly interesting today.

He has a rather large moose toy that is one of his absolute favorites and he was playing with it by a door today and he managed to get the tiniest bit under the door so that it stuck out on the other side. For some reason he felt this was the part he absolutely must chomp immediately so he had his head sideways on the ground trying to get his mouth as low as possible to try to pull this piece of the moose out beneath the door while the entire rest of the moose was on the other side of the door.

I attempted to show Dickens that if we just push the door a little bit we have the entire moose on the other side of the door. He immediately pushed the door back and continued to tug at the tiny piece of moose. When he had a firm grip on it, he pulled it around the bottom of the door so that he was on the other side and now that he had the complete moose took it downstairs.

I can't tell if he's getting smarter or dumber.